Thursday, December 14, 2006
confused
ano ba???
what will i do?
is pride really prevailing in me?
i dont think so...
if not pride... what else??
it started with a line...
a statement..
words that to me were painful
he's special to me
he's one of a kind
i treasure him
he's one of my most treasured ones
but for sometimes i dont feel special to him
i only get to hang out with him whenever he has no girl
most of the time i cant reach him
thats why when those words came out from his mouth
it hit me like hell
i cant believe that for everything ive done
ive sticked with him and became his friend no matter what
no matter when
eventhough he has little time for us
i was still there
our friendship was broken because of a girl
a girl that doesnt even deserve him
we tried to talk it out
but it didnt work
it became worse
he thinks that i am angry for some reason
a reason i dont even considered once
sure i was dissapointed that he couldnt come
why wouldnt i?
i set it all up
organized everything and lost my voice
and who are the ones not going?
my friends
but i cant be mad at him
he's not the only one backing out
even my sis couldnt make it
this i say to you
i just hope you could read this soon
before our friendship totally dies
...
i am not that shallow to allow myself to be in fight with you
just because you couldnt came
you are right
i understood
i understood very well
i wasnt mad because of that
i was just really hurt by what you said...
i thought it was not you talking
because for the short years ive known you
i know you dont think like that
i thought that it was your girl who said that
but you said to a friend of ours
it was really you who thought of that
but you didnt mean it to mean like that
you said you were just really confused
confused...
i know in situations like that
it would really be hard to choose
but when one gives way...
it really helps right...
your right, i did give way
i always do...
everything's ok...
you not coming is settled...
its ok to me
really!
but i really cant help getting hurt with your words
with your last few words...
i wasnt mad that you didnt come
i was mad at you because you said those words
you could back out without saying those
but according to a friend
you were thinking of a different meaning with those words
ok...
fine!
i get your point..
now get mine...
why do you have to use those particular words?
you could just have said it in other words
words that were gentle...
words that would not mean like that
i guess you know that im sensitive
and with me like that you should have been careful...
i want you to know my heart was crushed..
it was already broken by love
now it was crushed by friendship
still...
i dont want to lose our friendship
i hope we could still work this out
all we need is just to talk
clear things out
were not thinkin of the same thing
were not thinking of the same root to our fight
it is all just misunderstanding...
but new problem is
we both are full of pride this time
me thinking that:
if i were to approach first
you might never realize my worth
and take me forgranted once again
thinking that im always there for you
youll assume i will never be gone...
coz nobody knows...
i might...
on the other hand...
you think that our fight will never be resolved
unless your the one who approach..
saying im very full of pride
which i would like to prove to be not
that i know how to bend down
but im afraid...
afraid that youll refuse...
everytime we pass each other
you have that look that scares me
its the same angry look that scared me the last time we fought
that look that shoos away my courage to talk to you
i just hope this would end
i just hope we talk already
im willing to fix things up...
i just hope you could read this
i want to talk to you soon...
~oOo~RottenButSweet~oOo~ [11:01 PM]
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